I unfortunately was not able to include Tetro, Disgrace, or Seraphine, all of which took way too fucking long to release on DVD.
The Worst Movie of the Year
Trash
95. Paul Blart: Mall Cop-At least it found some fans. Aimed at what must be a pre-pubescent audience, Mall Cop fires its jokes from the 90’s without any of Doug Heffernan’s comical charm.
94. The Cake Eaters-It’s somehow hard to believe that Kristen Stewart’s worst movie of 2009 may not have been ’Twilight.’ Guy leads a cast of characters hellbent on expressing mediocrity through banal dialogue, poorly-constructed stereotypes, and contrived story points.
93. Duplicity-Yes this mess of a storyline was written by the same man responsible for ’Michael Clayton’ and the Bourne series. Julia Roberts’ returned for this? A plot filled with so many twists, turns, and repetition that anyone still intrigued by the end will be too busy re-calibrating themselves to see it.
92. Humpday-Lynn Shelton’s mumblecore effort made sure that I’d never watch another mumblecore picture. Watching a bunch of pseudo-intellectuals talk themselves in circles about the merit and reasoning behind a man cheating on his wife with his best friend in a gay porno gave one of the (hopefully) worst representations of today’s young adults. Film Comment's Amy Taubin gives it its due calling it a 'grossly incompetent, indie-buzz bomb."
You Can Make it Through These Pictures, But Not Easily
91. World’s Greatest Dad-This actually starts out as a decent Robin Williams vehicle, before the poor plot ends up as exposed as Williams’ genitals. After his dick of a son dies, Williams rides an unamusing and completely nonsensical (even for the genre) ride to a disappointing end revealing the film’s message in the least effective way imaginable.
90. Treeless Mountain-There is a difference between glacially (pre global warming) paced films and this. Two young girls wait patiently for their mother to return, while the audience waits patiently for something interesting to happen.
89. It’s Complicated-If Alec Baldwin and Meryl Streep weren’t cast in Meyers’ ‘write what you know…without ever advancing yourself’ picture it would’ve failed miserably. They provide some sparks in a dull arena, which somehow makes Steve Martin bland and has three of the worst performances ever given by young actors. It’s no wonder Nancy Botwin sells pot, as her son won’t be bringing home the bacon as an actor anytime soon.
88. Watchmen-A faithful adaptation? That’s what Zack Snyder believes and the rest of us have come to find a lie. From the unwatchable sex scene between Nite Owl II and Silk Spectre II, to Matthew Goode’s too comic portrayal of Ozymandias, and an ending that destroys much of the graphic novel’s point, the film version of Alan Moore’s masterpiece is anything but.
87. The Soloist-Someone was printing Oscar banners during this film’s entire creative process. Every scene feels soaked in dialogue meant to attract the attention of the Academy, while ignoring the seemingly easily adaptable story of a relationship between a middle-class white journalist and an uber-talented black cellist. Even the slums of LA look bright, rather than gritty.
86. Amreeka-Another interesting story dumbed down to racial stereotypes. The strong acting is put aside by the ongoing helplessness of everybody present, all them incredibly efficient at preaching their point. Amreeka’s (somehow) subtle relationship with her son’s principal can’t even save this indie commonfare.
85. In the Electric Mist-A thriller without any thrills! New Orleans serves as an admirable backdrop to a tale that never creates an atmosphere of fear. Tommy Lee Jones in his umpteenth performance as an officer of the law never shows us vulnerability, while John Goodman slips in and out of his accent at will.
84. Julia-Tilda Swinton vanishes as the title character, along with the viewer’s interest almost immediately. The overly long films fails to give Swinton anyone to work off of, as the child is plot-fodder and wife-beating Mitch is as present as he was with his family.
83. Public Enemies-Johnny Depp! Christian Bale! Michael Mann! Wisconsin locales! Exciting film? Rather, a gung-ho gangster flick rarely gravitating from established historic mafia portrayals in cinema, instead relying on its disorienting, excuse me, pretty HD camera and big name stars to pull its weight. It’s barely distinguishable from the heap only seven months removed from viewing.
Glad I Watched Once and Only Once
82. The Informant!-Steven Soderbergh’s film about a whistleblower from the Midwest was advertised heavily as a comedy. It isn’t. It’s dry humor is barren, and Damon’s appropriate performance as Mark Whitacre is wasted; at least until a slight pick-up as things begin to fall apart for his character in the second half. And I am, apparently, the sole detractor of the film’s score.
81. Everlasting Moments-Criterion is about to make a mistake releasing this picture about a slow-witted, submissive woman at the center of a population that doesn’t believe in repercussions. Maria and her family are well-rounded throughout most of the film, until their patience results in happiness that can only occurs in so things can wrap up, as this does with scenes constantly in a hurry to leave the screen.
80. The Boys Are Back-Clive Owen in a sentimental performance as a widowed father in charge of some messy boys (including himself). Cinema meant to appeal to Blind Siders, the film ending up landing without a peep. The more interesting child, the one living with Owen’s ex, shakes things up for the better for awhile before the focus goes elsewhere.
79. The Great Buck Howard-John Malkovich in an incredibly wacky and tuned performance, is thrown to the pigs as his co-stars galley about insincerely and impersonally. Emily Blunt arrives as Colin Hanks’ lover in an awkward, shallow display that could only be described with the lyrical genius of the other Blunt.
78. Precious-A hard-nosed tale that loses its edge thanks to director Lee Daniels. Mo’Nique’s furious showing as Precious’ mother is wasted in slow-motion and quick cuts to gimmicks meant to enhance the characters. Precious herself gets the same treatment when we get to tap into her mind, which according to Daniels is filled with nothing but glittery fantasies of stars. And one can’t forget the delightful Blu Rain as one of the most ridiculously angelic characters of the year.
77. Sherlock Holmes-Holmes and Watson! Ah-ha! Action, mystery, and witty exchanges, how pleasant! Unfortunately, the movie is not made up of entirely Holmes and Watson investigating, instead finding time (barely) to litter in Rachel McAdams as Irene Adler who must have been getting low on funds for bypassing her usually selective process when choosing films. All of this hampered even more by the misguidance of the unfortunately stubborn and predictable Guy Ritchie, and always terrible Mark Strong.
76. Big Fan-My personal disappointment of the year, Robert Siegel’s first film falls victim by over-emphasizing everything that made ‘The Wrestler’ (which he penned) worthy of its praise. Paul Aufiero is surrounded by a bunch of cartoony one-dimensional family members who bugger him insistently to get a real job and give up his obsessions. He holds firm by going nowhere and dedicating his entire life to the New York football Giants. And I don’t give a damn.
Decent Fare
75. The Girlfriend Experience-Beginning way too politically (we get the situation Mr. Soderbergh), the film eventually finds its way. Sasha Grey performs admirably, clothed, but the more interesting character is her boyfriend whose plight as a prostitute’s lover is highly sympathetic despite his Jersey Shore-like physical appearance.
74. Bright Star-One of my few disagreements with the critics at ThePlaylist, Jane Campion’s latest looks at the young love of Fanny Brawne and John Keats, or more accurately Fanny and her lover. Without a doubt this is Fanny’s story, with Keats used about as sparingly as possible in such a tale. Fanny started out on the path of driven individual and ended up an obsessed female without any real identity to fall back on.
73. Killshot-A stiff Mickey Rourke (as Bird) made out to be a wiseman of sorts isn’t rescued by the flexible Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Richie) who plays, essentially, his mimic. Bird’s discretion leads both directly and indirectly to Richie’s own demise, leading him down a senseless path of slaughter without any respectable code of any kind. How it was suppose to be? Yes. Entertaining to watch? No.
72. Adam-A nondescript Hugh Dancy vehicle designed to do little other than show his ability to walk the line of friendly introvert and complete retard per Kirk Lazarus. The relationship reaches its climax realistically, prompting a ’thank God,’ and then a small nod of affection for its cuteness before fading into some mental hideaway.
71. The Cove-Documentaries blow. They consist of a bunch of extremists trying to sprout their ideas through obnoxious behavior, their cause eventually left behind post the initial public reaction. Mark Monroe’s peek into the world of dolphin murder entertains with its elements of stealth, namely obtaining the footage needed for the film, but too often sways from its original premise, stumbling into my very narrow-minded thoughts on documentaries. What is the result? The way the people of Taji kill dolphins is inhumane and 99% of people who see it are going to gasp and go on doing nothing, including me.
70. Avatar-A beautiful world wasted on amateur, been there, done that storytelling. Kevin Costner, sorry, Sam Worthington leads a mix of experienced and inexperienced actors with mostly terrifying results (the scintillating delivery of one liners alone merit a Razzie nomination for Michelle Rodriguez). They can be excused to a point courtesy of James Cameron’s campy dialogue and characters. The real problem of Cameron’s message is how he delivers it; zero gray area and highly judgmental. It is impossible to compare a world with visual, modern evidence of God to one without. The anti-human tirade gets stale quickly.
69. The Last Station-Sofya, Tolstoy’s wife, was the only character who lived as a Tolstoyan should. Valentin, played by the never a standout, never a disappointment James McAvoy, is close but far too much of the flock-mentality of the other so-called Tolstoyans, those consciously-living by another man’s decree. Sofya can be greedy and unnecessarily outspoken, yet does so with love and her family in mind. Tolstoy himself is far too selfish (though admittedly so), while his confidant Vladimir Chertkov and daughter are unrecognizably villainized come the credits. Valentin and Masha’s ‘love’ was based on nothing other than flirtation and naivety.
68. The Young Victoria-A pleasurable cast (withholding Mark Strong) held through a common story by Paul Bettany’s Lord Melbourne. The story evolved on his sly attempts at destroying partnerships for his own purposes, mixing up the normality associated with pictures on Royalty. He is the reason for the film’s strongest moments including Prince Albert’s welcome explosion against him.
67. Adventureland-The quiet indie that defines a generation of youth hipsters/malcontents with an abundance of music everyone should listen to. And then the next one comes. Greg Mottola’s personal look at his own time of adversity is a charming combination of clichés (fireworks) and actual emotion (James discovering Em’s secret). Good, but lost with time.
66. The Hangover-A constant rush of comedy looking to hit at least some of its jokes with just about the entire male audience. It lands some (clips from the camera) and misses completely on others (Mike Tyson, a naked Ken Jeong). Ultimately it falls prey to being a cheap(er), and admittedly funnier, hardy-hardy-har between other companion pieces detailing the actions of reckless brahs.
65. Jerichow-The technical aspects were nailed: fine acting, prudent dialogue, and sound structure, but it didn’t take enough chances to push it beyond a ‘solid’ consideration. The calm tale of betrayal throws in twists to try and change our allegiances before a finale pops up without enough alluding to. A little wider scope and the film would be worth revisiting.
64. Il Divo-A peculiarly fitting soundtrack that highlights the eccentric Giulio Andreotti, also correctly interpreted by the astounding camerawork. The movie drops a lot of strands for the viewer to grab onto, often releasing the names of multiple Italian bigwigs in a chaotic flurry. It excels in its entertainment purposes, but meshes everyone together so much that we are left with Andreotti’s character and everybody else.
63. The Maiden Heist-It is disgraceful that a film containing the talents of Morgan Freeman, Christopher Walken, Marcia Gay Harden, and William Macy went straight to DVD. The movie begins full of humor, as the three leads attempt to steal the artwork they’ve become so attached to, but disintegrates as they attempt the actual heist. The story leaves the characters entirely in the past and demands all attention be placed on the technical aspects of the robbery. Marlow’s final realization brings back some of the early magic, and would’ve been all the more beautiful had it not been for the gradual loss of momentum leading up to it.
Somewhere in the Middle
62. District 9-A promising new Sci-Fi turned 90’s actioner. Sharlito Copley creates (as most of what he did was impromptu) an entirely believable Wikus, a man caught between two sides of apartheid. He is a gentle, unaware man thrown into the forefront of an uprising and forcefully transformed into something unrecognizable. He is contradictory; greedy yet caring. There are more problems unknown to him that he can’t help; the film suffers from its desire to manipulate us toward the humans and then towards the Prawns. Then there’s the last third, when Colonel Koobus decides to audition for next year’s ’The Expendables.’
61. State of Play-After serving as a mature look at the despair of modern-day journalism, the film avoids its primary strength for plot purposes. The newspaper world is left behind, as Cal and company go on an investigative hunt bringing them upon miscast, questionable people like the humorless Jason Bateman as Dominic, while ignoring the essentials that made the movie work in the first place such as Rachel McAdam’s lively Della Frye.
60. Nine-Wishing to remove 8 ½ from the list of classics, Rob Marshall’s mishmash musical partial remake of a partial remake turned out decent taking into consideration managed expectations. Daniel Day-Lewis is once again the star, taking an older Guido and making his faults a bit more relatable, difficult seeing as he is a whiny film director with hordes of woman whirling around in his fantasies. The songs vary greatly with god-awful vocals emanating from Judi Dench to shockingly-bearable tunes from Fergie and Kate Hudson. Very little of the music progresses the story, as the lyrics tend to the obvious, rather than the poetic.
59. Star Trek-Sufficient acting from Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto lead a franchise revival that has the core for a great sequel. A blockbuster that remains too safely in the realm of a blockbuster, J.J. Abrams’ reboot sets his characters up to face their adversaries and each other. Leonard Nimoy’s cameo felt preachy, and Nemo was an unsuitable foe to the USS Enterprise, but they are both happily out of the way.
58. Coraline-Most kids’ movies are stuffed with the same jokes, characters, and plots. Coraline is a more realistic youngster, brash and adventurous. The story suits her, dealing with the very thing most people go to movies for, escaping reality. Her tale comes packed with wacky side characters and creatures to keep the children interested, sacrificing very little until the third act when she seems invincible, rushing through her opposition without so much as a sweat.
57. Brothers-Suprisingly, Tobey Maguire and Jake Gyllenhaal share very little screen time. Tobey’s Sam is off in a far too simplistic, feeble Afghanistan for the majority of the movie, while Jake’s Tommy is wooing Sam’s wife Grace (Natalie Portman). The tension is absent until Sam comes back home, where he has a quick outburst and the movie ends thereby denying us all of the premise. It should be noted for future casting decisions that Portman would look more comfortable nursing Maguire than as his lover. The biggest Oscar snub of the year comes courtesy of Bailee Madison, the young girl who gives an almost incomprehensibly acute performance as Isabelle.
56. Broken Embraces-Pedro Almodovar’s latest arrives long-winded, but entertaining with its knack for red herrings and tangled relationships. Penelope Cruz’s Magdalena becomes involved with a blind writer called Harry and a rich old fellow by the name of Ernesto, neither candidate suitable for the other in either case. It all wraps up nicely with a confession from Judit and the reappearance of plotlines and characters thought to be left for dead (Diego). Thankfully Almodovar keeps things tight during the changes in the timeline.
55. The Baader Meinhoff Complex-A strong case against politics in their entirety. The core ideas of terrorists and police, distilled amongst future recruits causing the initial ideas for formation to unravel until people are doing things for reasons unrealized. The problem with Baader and Meinhoff’s group is that their original members also lacked proper intelligence for such a movement, coming off as arrogant rebellions feeding off their status as figureheads. The needless violence is followed by a jail stint served by character and viewer alike, as objectives seem further from grasp and we are only witness to the RAF’s side of things.
On the Verge
54. Bronson-A surefire cult classic, Tom Hardy’s odd and fascinating portrait of Britain’s famous prisoner boils with lunacy. This is about Bronson, his viewpoints and his values at the forefront. Those who attempt to understand his antics are punished like pawns by this man who wants to remain concealed and naked at the same time. A legacy built mostly in his mind, Bronson suffers when he turns to his contemplative side, oftentimes unusually adept at prying through his thoughts.
53. Silent Light-It takes time for the non-professional actors to hit their stride, but when they do the film transforms from a piece in need of a major edit to a beautiful one rewarding patience. The turning point late in the film strikes hard on the worst kind of betrayal; the kind one understands. Blame doesn’t work out that conveniently, and the characters find themselves yearning for the past, but ardently facing the present without much outspoken complaint.
52. Invictus-Nelson Mandela is an excellent person to characterize on screen with his humanistic value nearly magical enough to be considering escapist fare. Morgan Freeman is clearly suited for the task, while Matt Damon does little to disturb Freeman’s picture. Segments of Mandela’s peaceful ways are not overstuffed with sentiment, but the film heads downhill once the rugby matches steal the spotlight.
51. The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus-The tumultuous task of replacing Heath Ledger mid-shoot was handled well within the story’s reasoning. What ultimately does the film in is the destruction of Ledger’s onscreen persona, Tony Shepherd. Shepherd bleeds charisma through the bright, imaginative backdrops of Parnassus’ mind and in the dusty, dark lives of real folks. When he leaves us, signs of melodrama and an unwanted other male, one believing love for his carnival cutie is their destiny, sneak in as pests. And for argument’s sake, Jude Law is the best fill-in.
Worth Another View
50. Coco Before Chanel-Audrey Tautou guides us faintly through the fashion designer’s early life without ever a sign of ego. Her relationships bend, break, and heal like the rest of ours, and the glamour of her Chanel brand is positively absent. Far too uneventful for most, Tautou is able to hold the audience’s attention with her calm desirableness and a curious caution to everything entering Coco’s world.
49. The Merry Gentleman-A slow-burning, suspense-enhancing story leads to an interesting conclusion in Michael Keaton’s directorial debut. The tense situation at hand leads to wonderful interactions between the characters in the moment, but doesn’t hint enough at their past lives with the slight exception of Kelly MacDonald’s Kate. Everyone moves on without an exploration of faults, possibly the point of the story: Why do we do what we do?
48. Five Minutes of Heaven-Not quite the Hollywood match-up of Frost and Nixon, and partially better off for it. The straightforward tale of two impeccably acted Irishmen attempting to meet years after one murders the other’s brother, is able to find its way to a gratifying ending after struggling through lengthy periods of time meant only to prolong the inevitable. The majority of the film takes place before the meeting, where the execution can’t keep up with the hype. The events following their eventual meeting contain the meat of the picture.
47. Import/Export-Uplifting in absolutely no way, Ulrich Seidl’s lightless look at the bottom-feeders of humanity paints a disturbing portrait for even the most unaffected of us. In a world where the ultimate goal is merely survival, Olga and Pauli are dragged through an endless string of worsening situations filled with few moments of compassion. Pauli’s stepfather, mid blow-job, attempts to get Pauli to fuck the girl who was previously on all fours barking like a dog. Olga, meanwhile, follows a male nurse of her liking to find out which elderly patient shit in the hallway. Longevity becomes a problem with the subject matter and prevents us from receiving it in doses, ultimately downgraded it.
46. Away We Go-A couple that actually remains in love! Sam Mendes’ offbeat comedy hits the road smoothly as Verona and Burt feel like family after a few short minutes. The guests the couple visits are a mix of highlights and oddities taken too far. The stroller ride around a house in Madison and a wife’s slink down on a stripper pole make up for the lesser stops at the siblings’.
45. The Men Who Stare at Goats-A screwy satire on war that never becomes too grating on the subject. George Clooney and Ewan McGregor make a clumsy pair ripe for the picking, with Jeff Bridges peace-fighting hippy Bill Django serving as a lax link into the past of the whole operation. Peace as war. Kevin Spacey disappoints greatly as the plot plunges into boredom late in the game.
44. A Single Man-A solid effort that didn’t quite do its story justice. Tom Ford’s bow into film is neither as stylish or as moving as I was convinced it was going to be by the trailer. Its greatest augur, the haunting original score by Abel Korzeniowski constantly implying the impending doom of Colin Firth’s George. Julianne Moore is gleefully sad in her small (time wise) part, hampered only by the time limits of the day and its predictability. George’s saving relationship with his spry student also saved the movie, in spite of the overuse of nudity.
43. In the Loop-Credited to five different writers, the film rips through its sharp-tongued quick-witted dialogue and profanity without pause until the credits roll. Malcolm Tucker, a vile straight shooter leads a group of politicians satirizing today’s incompetent leaders, but somehow with all the material available, relies too much on general humor. As viewed through the eyes of an uncompromising apolitical, the film maintained my interest and for that I must give it its due.
42. Up-Pixar’s tearjerker of an elderly man floating away on balloons combines elements of humor and actual, non-glorified emotion quite well. The shockingly harsh opening, for a movie aimed at children, sets up a breezy, affectionate tale of opposites, in age and personality, finding their passion together. Talking dogs and a female bird named Kevin help keep the mood light, while the villain, Charles F. Muntz unexpectedly forces the story into longevity issues.
41. Whatever Works-Woody Allen, the usually intrusive director who creates far too many clones of himself as leads, somehow is able to walk the line between entertaining and annoying. Whatever works, why not? Larry David is casually natural and obnoxiously observant, forgiven by the fact that he’s usually right. Patricia Clarkson tries too hard in what she wishes was an Oscar-nominated role.
40. Fantastic Mr. Fox-Funny, quirky, and clever like all Wes Anderson films, his latest, fast-paced indie is only held back by the lack of emotion previously present to compensate for his pretentiousness. He wisely keeps his normally loud soundtrack from overshadowing the actual mise-en-scene. Somehow its relentless pace and reliance on intelligent action wasn’t enough to fill seats.
39. Lorna’s Silence-An unmatched premise with near-perfect casting that submits to the inclusion of unnecessary drama in places deemed ’slow.’ Arta Dobroshi’s brilliance is hardly wasted as she balances her guilt and compassion, along with her allegiances. Every decision of hers’ comes with the utmost importance. Others in the cast are not given consistent screen time, as the story becomes too jumpy particularly in the second half.
38. Somers Town-Incredibly realized characters litter the black and white landscape of their lonely lives. From their attempts at wooing a waitress far out of their league by rolling her home in a wheelchair to feeling their first effects of alcohol, Tomo and Marek, two boys destined to be picked on, locate their own little freedoms and joys together. The ending, in color, forces the boys a bit too near the unachievable knocking the tone off-kilter, putting into question what exactly is worth taking from the film.
37. Up in the Air-Jason Reitman’s latest major effort racked up the nominations at the Oscars, but deservedly only so for the acting. Reitman never quite catches up with the current times his picture is trying so hard to speak on. Clooney’s Ryan Bingham starts off in the sky, before uncomfortably venturing back home (to Wisconsin!) where the plot unravels without paying enough attention to what made the character so interesting in the first place. Vera Farmiga’s Alex is not given her due in the end, bowing out in highly predictable fashion.
36. Departures-An overly sentimental movie that somehow works. Humans’ natural reluctance to death takes over as lead Diago finds a job preparing the dead causing his old friends and wife to abandon him and his ’dirty’ occupation. The sides of those who calmly accept death (the undertakers, incinerators, Diago) and those who can’t are clearly divided. The procedure of readying the dead is interesting in itself as the Japanese, portrayed openly with public baths and physicality of the preparation of the dead, need such a calculated, clean way of handling the deceased to disguise grief. Diago seems to stray into normality for too much of the picture, never as close to death as you’d believe him to be.
Narrowly Out of Contention
35. Moon-A phenomenal ending and realization lessened by a safe movie. Sam Rockwell’s Sam and Sam, along with his spaceship’s computer Gerty exert more emotion alone together, than Sam does in his video conferences with his family lowering the consequences as the story progresses. The effects on the moon look decent for a low-budget Sci-Fi, but noticeably cheap at points during harvesting.
34. Two Lovers-Joaquin Phoenix’s last hurrah pre-Unibomber phase is a low-key look at a man trying to obtain his infatuation and still hold onto his safety net. The ending is lucid from early on, yet watching Phoenix’s easily bothered, always worried Leonard (who also lives with his parents) tightrope between the two ladies manages to maintain tension. It all results in a final heartbreaking scene, one where you can’t help but feel sorry for everyone involved.
33. Crazy Heart-Jeff Bridges eases into Bad Blake’s life on a road full of small crowds, alcohol, and what was. Bridges’ personality is so distinguishable outside of film it’s a wonder how he manages to slip so concealed into each of his characters. His performance helps push along a film with little in terms of innovative plot developments, all effective, but never with the depth of the likes of ’The Wrestler.’ The country music isn’t so much honky-tonk as grit and grind, like most of the people populating the small towns Blake plays in. ‘The Weary Kind’ should be a lock for Best Original Song.
32. The Maid-The only film with boobs in what feels like every scene that doesn’t try to impress its audience. Raquel, the driven-crazy family maid, is followed so intimately by the camera you half expect her to turn around, grab it, and thrash its dictator for invading her private space. The paterfamilias of her taken-on family helps keep their side grounded, as he removes himself quietly for his own vices (golf) enabling him to maintain his sanity like when one of his bottled ships is busted. Often discomforting and inhumane, Sebastian Silva’s ode to an ignored occupation ends up a means to self-analyze.
31. Where the Wild Things Are-A heavily-divided movie among critics, Maurice Sendak’s classic children’s tale finds itself somewhere in the middle. Max enters a world of his own imagination crowning himself King of its inhabitants, each of which think and speak like different parts of Max, thereby an argument against those criticizing the film for its on-the-nose dialogue and presentation. The opening and closing scenes are near-perfect as a foundation for Max’s dream world, full of immaturity and neglect.
30. O’ Horten-Beginning at a near sufferable pace, O’ Horten wanders his own head and town finding others sharing in his lonesomeness. Comedy sneaks in as O’ Horten rides shotgun with a blinded man after helping him off his arse on the side of a road. Breaking nearly every screenwriting rule known to Hollywood, the change of pace is welcome as we actually get to know this man at a time of high grief and watch as he plugs to find happiness in little things.
29. The Road-My most respected author adapted by the director of ‘The Proposition,’ a criminally overlooked Australian western. My least favorite of McCarthy’s work, John Hillcoat’s cinematic version actually made me want to take another look at the author’s latest. Charlize Theron is Charlize Theron and that’s never going to change (her only worthwhile venture I’ve seen was her ‘Arrested Development’ cameo), but the real story is between father and son, written by McCarthy for his own son which explains an ending as happy as he’d ever write. The mood of the ongoing need for survival is a tad off, but the relationship mucked through the dark and dusty countryside holds up.
28. The Bad Lieutenant, Port of Call: New Orleans-Nicholas Cage is a zany, coke snorting, gambling, half-rapist, and completely hilarious and enjoyable. He wanders around crime scenes and bars, sometimes imagining reptiles, other times break dancing, but always taking part in something unpredictable. He’s even able to sell-out and get away with it, because everything’s done out of fun without sacrificing some kind of structured story to go along with this character who runs the show. Eva Mendes is the only one who seems to have missed out on the joke, taking things too seriously and boring potentially exciting moments to a complete halt.
27. A Serious Man-Nearly all Coen Brothers movies require multiple viewings to gather all the details, and that is evident nearly from the get-go of their most recent. Their philosophy in writing of continually throwing shit into their protagonist’s way is taken to the max with the poor, befuddled Larry Gopnik played to perfection by theatre actor Michael Stuhlbarg. He’s told calmly to move out of his home and into the Jolly Roger hotel by his wife’s new lover, Sy Ableman and must deal with his brother who spends his days holding up the bathroom or on the couch writing mysterious mumbo-jumbo. The ambiguous ending only adds to the frustration and delight of the whole thing.
26. Funny People-Judd Apatow’s ‘mature’ effort is neither too long or short on laughs. Adam Sandler proves Punch-Drunk Love wasn’t a one-off as the rich prick comedian George Simmons, who takes Seth Rogen’s (who can’t act but one character, but does okay with that) Ira Wright on as his assistant while battling cancer. Perfectly suited to fade into melodrama, Apatow keeps things tight with surprisingly three-dimensional characters. Simmons mopes through life using sarcasm as a way out of serious matters living by the doctrine of laughter equaling happiness, or at least the chance to get through the day.
Top 25 Films of 2009
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